I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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