Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize