I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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