I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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