Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize