I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
