Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
