They should really pass out barf bags in church
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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