Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm sobbing to NWA
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Never joke about your clitoris.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
