You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
