Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So. Much. Porn.
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