Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize