WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
