so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
worst night to have a conscience
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
im on a boat
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