I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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