it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
