you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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