It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
