so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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