it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
