I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
