I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Randomize
