is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
