Got a toothbrush?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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