Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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