I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
