Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
