Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
