made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
