i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
