im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
