so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
