its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
