i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
