I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
