Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
