The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize