I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
