Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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