these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
