Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
