honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
