After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
