We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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