what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
