I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize