I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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