the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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