That's when you crack a 10am beer
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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