last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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