There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
