His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
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