Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
