thus making me awesome and them whores
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
