i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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