I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
