Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
