after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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