are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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