i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize