weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
