I cockslap morals
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
