Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
